Closure vs. Recovery: there is a difference

Conflict due to miscommunication or a simple misunderstanding can fracture a relationship with someone very dear to us. This happens all too often because we arent always versed in the how tos of effective communication but additionally becasue we aren’t in touch with how we really feel. Not teaching or understanding the need for closure and recovery, sets the stage for secrets, harbored resentment and clogged emotional arteries. You are not only incapable of defining how and why you feel the way you do, you are walled off from understanding how others feel. Apologies and responses are delivered courteously rather than sincerely and without true remorse. This is not healthy and it gets use only but so far. Shemora Roberson © 2019

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Turn Your Misfortune into A Masterpiece

Life is a series of tradeoffs, some good and some bad. But at the end of the day, you have to put aside your pride and put aside your ego in order to make great things happen in your life. Whining is a waste of precious time. Pity parties are overrated. Sitting in your selfish state of victimization is not attractive and it gets you NOWHERE. Get up and just DECIDE to make great things happen. It’s your life and it’s on you to get it done and you can. You have everything you need, inside of you, we simply have to learn how to. Shemora Roberson © 2018

Willing to Make the Investment

When women are the majority in this world and are the only beings who can push forth life from her body, why can’t she find a sisterhood? Why does the breaking of her heart have to be like a tree falling in the forest? Why can’t anyone hear? If women are the most powerful, intuitive beings on earth, why are we so absent when we need each other the most? Shemora Roberson © 2019

What if she trusted? What if she tried? What if she loved? Would love, not conquer all? Would it not conquer the world? I’m willing to take the risk. I’m willing to make the investment. Shemora Roberson © 2019

What if we started today? What if we started now? What if we decided to love each other as women because we KNOW firsthand, the plight each of us faces? Shemora Roberson © 2019

Stay away from these kinds of people:

1. Those who play tit for tat.
(That’s not love or maturity. It’s petty and destructive to relationships)

2. Those who always gotta one up you. 
(They will stab you in the back because this is just another version of hater-aid. The celebration of you is disingenuous because they’re too busy competing with you trying to reduce your successes)

3. Those who always carry a bone.
(They cannot be trusted with delicate information because confidentiality is not their strong suit, unless it’s their own)

I Weep for “Her”

I don’t weep for me. I weep for her:The greatest act of empathy is extending it towards another. Remembering your own pain and helping someone else through theirs. When we can pause long enough to relate to another person’s experience, the organic response is understanding followed by compassion. If we can understand the joy, pain, relief or state, our only recourse is to help and be less judgmental of their plight. Our hearts can ache for them without dying, our soul can exist with them, without condemnation and we become their support and emotional ally.  © 2018 Shemora Roberson

When you move far enough past your pain, growth has come. You emerge anew, then turn your compassion inward and extend empathy towards her. Her = The person you once were. When you do that, you don’t look at yourself as the person you were in that traumatic event but rather, you see the champion who made it out victoriously. Celebrate her! Acknowledge her! Embrace her! Because she/you deserve it.   © 2018 Shemora Roberson 

Things I’ve Learned About Grief/Loss/Pain

Deciding: • you have to decide to face your reality

Acceptance: • Accept the fact that “Yes”, this really happened to you

Identifying: • Yes, you the person you knew as “you”, will never be the same. (this phase is actually one of three phases within the acceptance).

Following trauma, be it emotional, physical, or mental, the experience alone will cause you to be different than you were when you entered into. Like fire changes the composition of the thing it touches, so does grief, deep-seeded pain and suffering. How you come out of it depends on how you process the experience. These three things are important to moving forward successfully.